Life will find a way to bring that out of you

No matter how unfairly you have been treated, or misunderstood, when you bring out the best in others, support that, life will find a way to bring that out of you and support that! Copyright © 2015 Anthony Cavuoti All Rights Reserved

Tiger cat

When I seen her there was something special about her. Something moved me, a pathos, A tender vinifying, somehow I felt like I always knew her. I thought she was buying lottery tickets in the back of the 7 11 I saids you are going to buy winner, she says I am just getting money from the ATM. She said it was her birthday We spoke Something just clicked She said she used to be a paralegal That she was going to go to law school but stopped because the bad guys win all the time. I told her what I did and that I understand I was low on money so I waited two weeks before I asked her out It was too cold to go on a picnic so she asked me to go to her place to help her put in cabinets. It seems a cabinets fell, her Kitchen cabinets The ones above the sink She bought some new ones She did not want the landlord to know that she had a cat She couldn't afford to pay the extra deposit money for the cat She was impressed because I had a toolbox I helped her Looked up how to put cabinets up on youtube so that I look like I knew what I was doing some. It was interesting She called me Popeye Probably because I was working so hard trying to impress her in putting up the cabinets. Tiger cat that was her cat, the cat, liked me The cat would caress me Snuggle by me One of my clients called One of my client’s Brother needed to be homeschooled and I was all right with it, I was confident with that Let the client know it was all right. I was a little impatient but still kind. Called on my day off. I worked hard putting in the nails, finding a way. Using the power screwdrivers. Afterwords, she took me in her car, we went to fat Burgers she really knew how to enjoy her food, Then she took me shopping with her for some things for her catering business She really knew how to have fun Then she Took me to one of the bars that she frequents Inside gave me some pictures of herself Later she asked me to me to meet her at one of her favorite bar, the leopard room it was right by my place I went home change the matter there I watched her move about the crowd all night long Everyone was enchanted by her she always return to me like tiger cat Then we went to my home afterwards But for the next many many enchanting nights we went to her home The cat loved me tiger cat Tiger cat would always come by me Even when she was on the phone with me tiger cat would ask for me. Approached me fearlessly Confidently, always eliciting my affection She wanted to cut Tiger cats tail off Started knocking things down on her small coffee table in her apartment. Told her, don't do that to the cat She loved me. Tiger cat loved me for a long time it seemed though it was only a few weeks, or months. But eventually she brought tiger cat back where she found them God how I wish I could somehow see tiger cat again Christ how I miss tiger cat!!!!!

Emotions

Once you start to be real with what you feel, you feel,you exist; you live more deeply sublimely and profoundly. (You cannot change others, or inspire them to be something they are not, or refuse to be, (meaning more genuine), or are afraid to be.) But you can be yourself, be your self more profoundly, deeply, meaningfully. Refusing to be abused, devalued, underrated, and disrespected. Even more than having a great life and having a great life that is yours, the degree for which you are real with life, life is real with you. This start with how you really feel. It is our emotions that compel, that create the circumstances and conditions for our being, for our existence. In my case this unclear subjective emerging I of me is not looking for resolution, meaning, nirvana, heaven, paradise, or non existence, it is simply striving for fulfillment, expression, to fully experience the maximum intensity and radiance of its aliveness, each life is simply increasing the wave of my passions, of my emotions, of the tides of my rising being in which it reached the pinnacle of which I am right now. But this wave has become conscious of itself, and I was born trying to escape it, out run it, but by chance I am body surfing on it, trying not to be thrown off of it as I ride it, to where, I do not know. Copyright © 2015 Anthony Cavuoti All Rights Reserved

Too many people Use the machine of society not to promote life but the Destroy life. Without knowing it they destroy themselves though they appear to flourish. All will be Revene All will be seen All will be know There is no Judgment Day simply a revealing day. Copyright © 2015 Anthony Cavuoti All Rights Reserved

Too many people Use the machine of society not to promote life but the Destroy life. Without knowing it they destroy themselves though they appear to flourish. All will be Revene All will be seen All will be know There is no Judgment Day simply a revealing day. Copyright © 2015 Anthony Cavuoti All Rights Reserved

Be true to your higher calling

No matter how strong your desires are, Be true to your higher calling which springs from your inner depths and your God-given talents Copyright © 2015 Anthony Cavuoti All Rights Reserved

Going within

Going within Gathering my storm Brings me back to how I was formed Alone in the gray I emerged A drive of profound, loving, unstoppable appreciation Deeply desiring to be true to the light This source, I am a small piece of it, an unique embodiment of it, expression of it A planet orbiting a star When I return I will have added and have been. Copyright © 2015 Anthony Cavuoti All Rights Reserved

Trust is the real currency

Trust is the real currency that keeps the world going and it keeps our lives in order and he keeps us on track. Trust is lacking in our culture and our society, it is replaced by cleverness, deceit selfishness and with the motto what ever it takes to get ahead. If you trust your considered to have a weakness. People that say I do not trust, are respected and feared for in their cunning no one can trick them and deceive them. Then again whatever they have to share inside doesn't adequately become manifest because is no real currency for it to come through, trust. The problem is, if you don't trust, you will not trust yourself, know your self, you will always be a reflection of others distortions of life instead of a reflection of real life and your own depths. Copyright © 2015 Anthony Cavuoti All Rights Reserved

Coming into being so promising

I open my door, the dark gray horizon, the cold winter wind carries me. Reborn, born coming into being so promising, so sublimely, making promises to life. Purifying myself so sincerely. The healing, comforting me so gentle, so warm, so loving. The erotic presence undoing myself so deliciously, amplified me, synthesizing me, like no other. With sophisticated, reflecting so wisely. With hero, going ahead so bravely so steadfastly. With vision so original, so liberating, With warrior, I'm determined, so sincere. With earth, so grounded, so secure.

What is it that most people do

What is it that most people do, get a job that you really hate for an inadequate amount of money. Try to please and or idealize a parent or someone from the older generation that never reflected on their life. Become emotionally over involved with some one from the opposite sex like you that has all sorts of unreasonable expectations. Try to obtain all of your satisfaction, fulfill all your unreasonable, and inflated dreams in such of relationship that is really a compensation that reflects your worst pathological attachment patterns. Attachment patterns that you refuse to see, that you cannot see because you never had time to reflect on yourself and know your truth, Dugs alcohol and desperation you go from one relationship to another or stay in a shitty marriage and pretend it is great.

The insidious side of cyberspace

But this is happening Right now, there is a deprogramming aberration amongst us dyslexia, Dyslexia the biological rebel We are slowly allowing our selves to be programed by our own random interactions with Facebook and the internet; how, well in you're responsible for individuation and integrating our self, but it seems of Facebook and the Internet is doing it for us but for their own benefit. Passive integration does not serve ourselves it serves their Financial interest and reduces us to a commodity. Facebook and Internet advertising towards us Interferes with contaminates our sacred synchronistic process.It's slowly pulls us away from ourselves into an object of desires of hungers with no center with no core, with no vistas, no dreams, no horizon in short with no soul. It will be a pigs paradise we will be well fed animals without any real dreams of her own. But of Course we could buy dreams for ourselves on the Internet, right. Wait now, from childhood onwards our forming emotional and psychological development and augmentation and developmental will be very influenced by this monetary driven, artificial process. We will be shaped as well as influence in ways that we can not even imagine. We will be Manipulated and coerced without us even knowing it. As a matter of fact, we could end up being active participants in her own self negation. So what is the implication of all of this. Instead of this life being our own personal encounter to enrich our own soul We become objectified, made to identify with the most superficial levels of ourselves, hence narcissism is the new normal, and our life now serves the few in their own personal interest. Right back to the worst part of Rome I can foresee a time where a psychological disorder will be equivalent to an act of self satisfying spontaneous expression. That is if you form a conviction or an impulse from a deep level of yourself such of an act challenge the status quo in you will be label deviant with A pathology and of course there will be a medication that will make you well, that will that will heighten your arousal to superficial stimulation and alienate you from your deeper sources and levels of your mind. But this is happening Right now, there is a deprogramming aberration amongst us dyslexia, Dyslexia the biological rebel Copyright © 2015 Anthony Cavuoti All Rights Reserved

Enchantress

He wanted to change the world with his ideas of the archetypical portals, just like every rainbow is unique every design of a kaleidoscope is unique, we all embodied the attributes of creation in a one of a kind way, that is each of us is the universe and in the universe, and while in it in a finite embodiment we enrich it and all that we have contact with an unknown ways. But now all that he wants to do is be with her, to be with her once again in her room. She is the universe, she has everything, she is passion, life. She's a living dynamics of the vitality of life. Once you're inside life there's no getting out, everything else is so unsatisfying. Can no longer settle for facsimiles. He keeps dreaming of being with her, in her room, in the dream she has two different color eyes but she doesn't in reality. One light gray, the other dark brown. Gray, gray wolf the Native American enchantress of her. Mysteries and fold experience, in ecstasy, tenderness, in food, in drinking in touching. in her heart, in her car, in her art, in her cleaning, in her smile. He can't wait for, the title wavetitle-through the galaxys, for the next bardo, for the next incarnation, for the Phoenix. Copyright © 2015 Anthony Cavuoti All Rights Reserved

That certain something

Each day we awaken more to the portion of creation that we are. We find new ways to appreciate and express that certain something as we awaken to it more and more Copyright © 2015 Anthony Cavuoti All Rights Reserved

Be as wise as the snake gentle as a dove

The has mind chambers, dimensions as well as powers that we do not comprehend, We are all increasing, expanding our powers and our experiences of who we are We increase her range together at the same time we work at cross purposes It all starts with imagination, following through. With plans, with experiments, with reflections Be as wise as the snake gentle as a dove, as Christ said.

She is all that I can see

Sometimes I am the fool Ignoring my feelings and using my body like it tool, Sometimes I Take care of everyone except myself Sometimes I simply just need to feel That's something beyond my meaning is real Sometimes I just feel so tenderly She is all that I can see To the point where she's everything to me but illusions they just fade away But they are more real than the brick More real than light more real than ground more real than sound More real than a blink more real than a swallow more Real than awakening more real than sleep Yes yes it is really that deep Sweet sweet allusion broke my heart Beginning Echo genesis, phoenix it's a new start.

I am no mistake.

I am no mistake. Though adopted and falsely documented from the start Though dyslexic and slandered from the start. Misunderstood from the start Targeted for others ignorance and projections She was no mistake Similar to me Misunderstood and forsaken But never gave up More than passion real life real love Doesn't always fulfill its self But it awakens you Brings you back to yourself See through the veil of institutionalize, cultural, lies socialized slanders and lies She is still freeing me like starlight from a distant past

I choose to meditate work out and write.

I don't like when people yell at teenagers or children. I see teachers and leaders doing this. And the parents that are supporting the group they tend to perpetrate this on each other. people project onto others their insecurities to maintain their equilibrium. I choose to meditate work out and write. Not to use others vulnerabilities for a crutch. And I really do not like it when people attempt to play on my vulnerability. For them I'm like electric eel underestimate me at your own peril

Time is how we are connected and stretch out together.

11 19 15 You see, time is what we are, more than you know. Time is how we are connected and stretch out together. You are the awakened the artist of your unfolding in the world of sleeping time. Many are time bomb to them self. You stay awake, the defuser of ignorance, of fear, the makers, the shakers, the awakers of time. 11 19 15

People recover from so called mental illness when they sincerely experience and face the truth of the abuse, neglect, and traumas they experienced as children.

People recover from so called mental illness when they sincerely experience and face the truth of the abuse, neglect, and traumas they experienced as children. Recovery happens when they no longer attempt and desire to cover it up with chemicals. Our job is to extricate them from this entanglement. Through sincere Empathy and support with the aid of an enlightened person people find their own answers, balance and orientation. They no longer act out what was done to them as children and are no longer willing to destroy themselves to cover up the truth. An enlightened person is someone who is able to face their own truth and is able to stand on their own emotional legs without crutches; they assist their clients to do the same in their own way.

You have to build a bridge of communication conducive for real intimacy before, or while you are crossing the bridge of passion.

You have to build a bridge of communication conducive for real intimacy before, or while you are crossing the bridge of passion. Otherwise it's tragic, lovely, rocking, devastating, delicious, life-changing, ecstasy but tragic. You will act out unresolved issues from your past. Resurrect and attempt to perfect unresolved issues from your past. Stuck in Jurassic Park Fighting for your life mistakeing excitement and intensity for love. Yes you will grow but you will not grow in love. Copyright © 2015 Anthony Cavuoti All Rights Reserved

smaller than a mustard seed

The part of us that loves, part of us were their is real love, our soul, our spirit, smaller than a mustard seed but larger than all the universes combine, more powerful then all combined. So relax, your debts are in the center of it all, creating it all being it all, guiding it all ! Working in mysterious ways, a dream beyond our comprehension Voice to text draft

A.D.D. is always the results of how Little Attention, real attention you give your children.

A.D.D. is always the results of how Little Attention, real attention you give your children. The brain does not lie it's the map of your attitude towards your child. Children always reflect their parents attitudes towards them.. weather its conscious or not admit it and not accepted or it not. Genetics code is analogous to a phonebook you could have a phone book of your city and still not know it. Have to experience every street every person every relationship....... Drug companies make money from genetics not from the truth and not from our experience, not from our wisdom and courage to face the truth.

All acts of Violence stem from child-abuse, insidious forms of child abuse;

All acts of Violence stem from child-abuse, insidious forms of child abuse; the abusive parent and abuse child are not even aware of this most of the time. The adult child perpetrates what was done upon them. They come up with all sorts of rationales. Just like the people that think spankings, shaming and depriving love is Okay, come up with all sorts of seemingly logical and sophisticated rationales. Most of our brain development happens from pre- natal to four years: Once damage is done it this part of the brain forever, the cerebral cortex higher functioning simply rationalizes the destructive impulses. The abused child is forced to fight this headwind for the rest of their life. By facing our own child abuse, neglect and all its insidious forms and we really feel what we felt as children, not what we were told to feel or think we should feel, than we no longer perpetrate and we are able see through of the mendacity, manipulations, destructive games and ignorance of others.

Reify our depths

For better and worse or both, how we felt before birth, intra uterusly, as an infant, as a child are the impressions we carry for the rest of our life. Blessed our those that go through life with this tale wind. But the vast majority of of us have a headwind, dealing with so called loved ones hostel, and ambiguous attitudes right from the start. The damage is made and set for life. Denial of this only makes for a life of distortions and illusions that is a life of denial. We end up believing we are in love with our distortions. We destroy each other by trying to make our distortions work. We go to work for our distortions, we marry our distortions, we idealize are distortions. That is why we self-destruct. That is why you have so many symptoms. That is why you're depressed. Is why you drink so much. Is why you are on medications. That is why you are so irritated. That is why you want so much materialistically, in a vain attempt to fill is void. But we want to be with someone that loves us for us, as we really are, who excepts us when we are in our real emotional states. Think about that, how real that is. We need to be with Someone that loves us not for what we project which takes constant effort, which is not the self but an effort of the self; to flourish we need someone that sees us, that except that cherishes us for how we really are, in our default mold, which is our early impressions. Which for most of us is not a pretty picture. The active persona that we cultivate later in life is our representative. The more our representative represents us, and not our ideal self , the more real satisfaction we will experience. It takes wisdom, intellect, and a deep desire to live your life to except this. Your life could seem to be very successful, very interesting but if it is not your life, you have no real life. First we have to see ourselves. We cannot see our own eyes in our own face. So we need to be around people that really love us for us. A Big house can not make up for lack of authenticity. Sex all the time, will not make up for lack of authenticity. All the money in the world will never make up for lack of authenticity. All the fame in the world cannot make up for lack of authenticity. Very famous rich and successful Actors are committing suicide, think about it! This distorted and jaded imprinting that we have for life is not a tragedy, it is a constant reminder not to play the game so much where you take it as real, it enables you to see it as it is, a distorted part of a process, yours is not to master the game instead it is to remake the game, to increase its range of human expression, to make it more human, too deepen it and expand the definition of humanity, even if the world does not want to play our game which is not a game, we live our truth anyways for a portion of the world that is ready to free them self, we make our own pocket of sanity. This forces us to tap deeper into a higher self, to be more attuned to our debts self, too more fully identify with our deeper nature, the layers of us that are not born in this life and that do not dissolve in his life, instead this dimension of us, increases through this life. This side of us is closer to our core. The more we live authentically from such debts the more we reifies a deeper portion of our individual subjective depths, that resonate in us for eternity. When we are true to our core, we now only tranforn our very life, we set the conditions, we set the switches for you high or human faculties to emerge, this allowed others to more fully manifest their uniqueness, less distractions, less distortions, less materialistic and ornamentation. Copyright © 2015 Anthony Cavuoti All Rights Reserved

Thank you

LA County got sued Because the resource classes weren't doing anything for the dyslexic students in them They would just vegetate When I was in high school the black girls in the class read my poems Read my short stories They seen me Encourage me to believe in myself, Seen my strengths see my powers Seen through the false reflections, and distortions of the school. Of the adults The black girls would not let me be anything less then what I was meant to be They would not let my or the adult world false reflections diminish me They see my future self and encourage me I worked on my short stories in the resource class I worked on my book in the resource class with them I dreamt of my future self Now I am a therapist much later life, I'm a professional writer I am a father I'm a competent professional She recognized me just like they recognize me She would not let me hide from myself just like they would not let me high for myself I'm forever thankful and grateful Voice to text draft Anthony cavuoti

Mistaken familiarity

She was Abused by her father emotionally going up. But she could not admit this to herself because she depended on him financially. And he appear to others to be so wonderful. Is there any wonder why she cannot present relationship but the person she is with is emotionally abusive. Mistaken familiarity for normality, constantly going back to the Trumatic feeling thinking that's a form of attachment or love Anthony Cavuoti voice to text draft

The antidote,real emotion attuned

Children and teenagers that where abuse, neglected, sexually harassed used their sexuality to self regulate them self and re-abuse themselves. They are caught in the network of their brain that was shaped by the abuse. If you Grab a glass when it is being formed you alter it shape for the rest of its existence. As adults they perpetrate and become victims of one another, re abusing one another and satisfying one another while undoing one another. A strange trap. Just like the smell of a cigarette reminds some of good memories of their childhood, A safe place but the sake place is really toxic, many have learn to eat from a poisonous vine, when in fact there are many fines and routes roots that are not poisonous. Drugs and alcohol are another one of these poisonous roots The antidote,real emotion attuned, some one who really loves you, underhand you and you them self. They are able and willing to get to know your depths, see all sides of you. Real self encounters, resisting and not relating and using one another in roles as objects. If you ignorant or in denial this will offend you

The more she expressed her self,

She would say, How much she missed him, how great he was and would have been as a man. I told him to stay inside, do not go out side. I asked him, what do you want me to pick up for you while I am out, he said ice-cream, what does that tell you where he is at. I seen the hurt in her, the depths of her despair, the boundlessness of her love. I said innocence. Yes innocence, he was still a child. Even though he was seventeen years old he was still an innocent child inside. Than I come back to see the road blocked and I new something was wrong, I could feel it. Just new, my heart sank. Than later I had to deal with doctors and nurses treating him like an object at the hospital while he was in the coma. Pulling the plug, no concern for my feelings, how he meant everything to me. After such, my heart, my soul was shattered. Later I would meet someone else, this other lady at places she knew. She would speak about the sufferings she experience, felt as a child. The abuse she experience as a teenager and young lady. The lingering devastation of the abuse she experienced in her last relationship. The more she expressed her self, the more she feels, the more I am able to be connected to her, I always wanted to be there for her, am for a while I was. but later not knowing how to find the places where she was at or the many misunderstandings and frustrations of the day of a dyslexic and my pride, my ego would flare up, and I was not me, but pain instead, not being there for her but venting my pain. Copyright © 2015 Anthony Cavuoti All Rights Reserved

Black lives matter.

Black lives matter. She would say, How much she missed him, how great he was and would have been as a man. I told him to stay inside, do not go out side. I asked him, what do you want me to pick up for you while I am out, he said ice-cream, what does that tell you where he is at. I seen the hurt in her, the depths of her despair, the boundlessness of her love. I said innocence. Yes innocence, he was still a child. Even though he was seventeen years old he was still an innocent child inside. Than I come back to see the road blocked and I new something was wrong, I could feel it. Just new, my heart sank. Than later I had to deal with doctors and nurses treating him like a object at the hospital while he was in the coma. Pulling the plug, no concern for my feelings, how he meant everything to me. Copyright © 2015 Anthony Cavuoti All Rights Reserved

I wanted you with love

I wanted you with love You are much much more than ecstasy and pleasure.

I don't care what they say about what goes down in the zebra

Dyslexics might misunderstand things, but in doing so we really perceive things. I don't care what they say about what goes down in the zebra I don't care what you do You are perfect just as you

Stronger

Yes stronger, and stronger Stronger every day Longer A little longer You know this feeling just will stay. Stronger and stronger, Stronger is my way Stronger and stronger nothings in my way stronger and stronger I lost the silly way. stronger and stronger new horizons of the day.

Outter events are only suggestive not reflective.

The world does not reflect us We have an inner sun that is always shining from within. Love yourself no matter what! Copyright © 2015 Anthony Cavuoti All Rights Reserved

She is from the future and from the pass, she is the parentheses of sanity in our insane time.

Her future self, her soul would from time to time chime in, speak to me through what ever distortions or frustrations she had with me or with herself. She is an advance soul, a more polished being masquerading as a stormy lady, as a broken toy, but she is a very Wise, powerful and lovely female shaman. The full power of her spirit I did not see until it was too late. She is from the future and from the pass, she is the parentheses of sanity in our insane times. She's unconscious of this most of the time in a pedestrian trance but she is so advance so, so very advance. She inspired me, she came to me,, woken me, she healed me, she taught me, seduce me, strengthen me, reflected me, amplified me, broke me, made me, she warned me, she guided me perfectly when I needed her and in a preternatural flow and rhythm of a Goddess that forgot she is a goddess. But her songs, her soul comes through the faultlines of her human vulnerabilities, fallibilities.

technology should serve man, instead man is now serving technology

Know this, man first bit from the tree of knowledge rather than the tree of love. We are doing the same thing now with technology, with these computers. could well do better without our addiction to technology. When are technology , outstrips are Humanity, yes. Think of how far our you consciousness and humanity could go if we really live from the heart. technology should serve man, instead man is now serving technology

We are all here to reveal this human potential to one another in our own unique way, through others and our own very frustrating limitations and destructive false perceptions.

We are all here to reveal this human potential to one another in our own unique way, through others and our own very frustrating limitations and destructive false perceptions.

The status quo of the system wants to keep you a worm, a grateful one and for it to be your wings. It does this by having you believe your chrysalis process is a pathology or an act of deviance.

The status quo of the system wants to keep you a worm, a grateful one and for it to be your wings. It does this by having you believe your chrysalis process is a pathology or an act of deviance. The goal if the antichrist is to kill the messiah before he is born. (What could Herod do with a surveillance state.) Or stop the savior from recognizing that he is the messiah. Keep the buddha permanently behind his father’s walls until it's too late. We are unknowingly worshiping and creating the anti Christ every time we are on in some cyber space. I fully understand the irony of this post.

There is more to us than we know.

There is more to us than we know. Most of the time we unconsciously identify with our ego and our perceived social status, when in fact we are co-creators with our generation, with the processes of evolution, with the expanding universe, with all sides of itself seemingly distancing apart when in fact the further they move apart physically on one level the more they are really becoming more integrated, harmonizing and synergizing as well as vivifying in ways that we can not yet perceive and imagine. We are coterminous and co creators with creation; this is a fact that can never be changed. All of us are the very core of creation itself always expanding out with one another in greater, deeper and wider ranges of harmony, sophistication, and imaginings. Our desires lead the way for us to keep coming to one another in unexpecting ways through enthralling encounters, more passionate enriched lives with one another over and over. We have falsely identified with the artificial dirt around us, thinking this is being grounded and normal instead of in our very being, soul, which has been and will always be the very core of all creation itself. Copyright © 2015 Anthony Cavuoti All Rights Reserved

There are many cross currents in us, so many.

There are many cross currents in us, so many. What we identify with as our self is a ephemeral social construct that has no lasting substance, unless you give it a purpose to your depths, and is a source of real life, which is a force greater than biological life, it creates the conditions of greater more fulfilling imaginings of life. There is taboo about identifying with your depths, of knowing your self and those that you are most profoundly connected to. Copyright © 2015 Anthony Cavuoti All Rights Reserved

Take root in your soul, not in others issues.

Take root in your soul, not in others issues.

She'll be safer that way, right!

Let's get Mary Magdalene to put a restraining order on him. She'll be safer that way, right!

Hide go seek.

We still play hide go seek. As adults this is nothing unique. But don't hide from yourself. Don't be so lost and can't be found. Don't take refuge In the games you play. For you just pushing your truth away You're losing time and that is the real. Copyright © 2015 Anthony Cavuoti All Rights Reserved

All of my writing is art, not Chronicles.

All of my writing is art, not Chronicles. It takes one to be sensitive to the ambiguities of life. It takes intelligence and reflection to be able to absorb my writings as well as a living rich inner life. For those of you that do, Thank you for being you.

She is Beautiful, lovely and far beyond the norm

She is Beautiful, lovely and far beyond the norm That is why she's storm. She's able to really see my soul. Will Always cherish her She's truly all of her sides She is a bumpy but Beautiful ride. Take you to your very core. Destroy you and you will ask for more. For you are more real for having been with her! In a past life I killed the killers, the treacherous in the Civil War She was a native Canadian Blackfoot woman who was subjected to being Chattle. such residence from our past, Residence distort as they amplify. That is why she so real even as she tells her lies. With her the strength and mystery of my soul and passion are reify Copyright © 2015 Anthony Cavuoti All Rights Reserved

The surveillance of your killer and her Killers does not go away.

I faced some of my deepest fears. I cried my most salty tears. I collapsed right into my core. Take your soul over a buck. Take your heart over a fuck. You could gamble with them in how you play, but never never forget your innermost promise to yourself or loose your way. Judas Rome Caesar and Christ. Kennedy was shot more than twice. The surveillance of your killer and her Killers does not go away. Some will really love you, bring you to your self even though they betray you as they betrayed them self.

Without love we slowly die.

Without love we slowly die. when we lack love, we rush time. A race Against this insidious death. And seek instant gratification, in the past it was TV now it's computers, portals of cyberspace, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram soon virtually reality. We go faster and faster. The symptoms of our time. The degree to which we raise children without knowing it, without giving them real love, is a degree for which they will as adults seek instant gratifications, pursue more and more false life and pleasures in cyberspace, and less and less real human contact, experience and relationships; they will not matter much to them, only what they could obtain through them. Marketers and advertisers will make a virtue out of this pathologies, in time the financial pressures will force some scholars to back it. If you feel what you feel and be what you are with excepting people, that do not repress their own issues and perpetrate their issues on you, you slowly heal yourself. Copyright © 2015 Anthony Cavuoti All Rights Reserved

When they do not support our humanity

Power, status, hierarchy, specialization, allure, there is nothing wrong with these forces in them selves, the problem occurs when they do not support our humanity, but become primary and no longer serve our humanity but become ways in which we hide from our self, perpetually distracting us and distancing us from one another, with the illusion that we are really existing in a meaningful way that is conducive to our real best interest. They become a problem for us, us meaning humanity when our primary superficial biological attributes and propensities become tools use by some to manipulate many, but this process has taken on a life of its own and all are now drawn into it and lost. Copyright © 2015 Anthony Cavuoti All Rights Reserved

Through each setback we summons more of the depths of ourselves

Through each setback we summons more of the depths of ourselves, of a deeper spirit, we not only learn about ourselves and strengthen ourselves, we teach, we give hope, we give renewed vigor and vitality to humanity, to go forwards with life in the spirit of love and generosity no matter what!!!!!

More assertive and gentler at the same time.

I have found that I am more assertive and gentler at the same time. I believe this comes from not just more understanding of myself, my nature and human nature, but a deeper understanding of both with a more profound appreciation of the sacredness of this exchange.

I could not resist her

I could not resist her Nor could i participate in her self-destruction

Candy girl, has heart

She is a little crazy, true, and for me game over. Being dyslexic I really experience how people, especially professional and so called normal mature people abuse the most the most vulnerable at their most vulnerable It is so intrinsic to the condescending perverted nature; such sheep, conformist have no regards for the abilities and traits that make dyslexic people so spectacular, they have no shame in the malicious way they cowardly sniper dyslexics through the bureaucratic system. She is dyslexic, hence my deep pathos for her. She had heart, did not care about their standards and rules. Could careless without a thought. The problem is with some people they take this too far, they have no visions or standard. Courage with no compass. But she did have heart. Much heart.

Poisonous roots

You reach a point where you intentionally stop eating and believing that you are getting real nutrition from poisonous roots. (Metaphorically). Or the roots pretended to be there for you but really were not, for what ever reasons, they were preoccupied with their own internal turmoil.This is difficult if you came from a place where the roots were there for you and good for you on some levels but underminding and undoing you on others. When you reach a point where you have the discernment to really tell the difference, deeply, even far beyond cultural and social perception, where your need for self fulfillment outstrips all of them, regardless of how intense or alluring or seductively they present themselves or they make themselves. Copyright © 2015 Anthony Cavuoti All Rights Reserved

Tenderness and longing of my heart

Can my tenderness and longing of my heart ever be embraced, understood. Will I forever be a slave to my exterior, to others misunderstandings and projections of me. Will others always see the monster in Charles Bukowski and not his tender heart. Will I always be a target of emotional assassination, because of my tenderness and daring outside of the conventional. Will these I know and don't know forever try to destroy me on different levels and not comprehend, cherish and nourish my tender longings of my being.

Putting intelligence and gifts over my desires and sentimentality

Putting intelligence and gifts over my desires and sentimentality

To

She was my greatest truth for a while.

She was my greatest truth for a while. She taught me not to be afraid of myself, of my nature, to really not care about what others think. Her wild live embracing madness freed me from the suffocating madness of the cowards normality of those that take refuge in standard bearing socially defined roles of maturity and normality. What I fear, what I know. Only the strong and broken of equal power to me are able, are capable and willing to be there for me enough to truly and accurately reflect me back to myself, to allow me to encounter, to know the truth of myself, the real truth, of my powers, needs and wants were I can live out what is really mine and satisfying. Copyright © 2015 Anthony Cavuoti All Rights Reserved

How I feel at times

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYOhUmOlndg

THE

B

Always there

It was so natural, almost no effort, nothing forced. Feeling, surrender, active. Such tenderness, such connection, such passion, it was like swimming in a lovely dream of passion. Once, there, it was as if I was always there.

Coffee table

Her one room studio apartment is small, but it is crowded with her artful style, her humanity. By her bed that we sit on to watch TV there is her white coffee table. She makes these delicious complex meals, we eat on the high small coffee table while watching TV. She has black licorice jelly beans and many other candies set along the far edges of the side of the table away from the bed. . Emergency candy for her diabetes. I can’t resist it. She always keeps the table and the white rug under it so clean. So well kept. She is so vigilant with the table. It is so small but it is her domain, her control. She is so very generous with this small space and so very exacting My heart goes out to her and her tireless efforts on the small table that somehow symbolizes part of her life. Such boundless lovely energy balancing on such of a small space. Somehow she pulls it off. Except for a few well placed looks at times all is so very pleasant, nothing falls.

I followed her into the darkness and got lost.

I followed her into the darkness and got lost but I found my lost side, my dark half. She was more than my fight flight response gone mad. She was my other half.

To the last lady I dated

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKBRc8zNQ30

Candy Girl

As she puts the glass back on the bar and looks at me she says, You lost something.   I do not know why or how you lost it, but you  lost your real power  that you pretend   you do not possess.  Your  hiding from your self, but you know you lost your balls.  She nonchalantly calls to  the bartender who is very familiar with her to give her another Gin and club soda.  She turns towards me again powerfully.  Now such as in such moments , it is as if she is channeling while seeing through me and into the concealed forgotten chambers of the depths of my soul. Now she has a hold of  a deep subline hidden corner of my soul, of a mysterious bardo depths of such consequence.  Her words sing of truth,  gliding they   carry such profound weight though  her character  can seem questionable at times.  I  am stunned,numbed  and arrested by the unknown source of the certain truths  she knows of me , I  am  thoroughly convinced for certain that my  entire life is being altered by the  conveyances of her utterances.    I feel exposed, ashamed, yet sense that she deeply and truly  adores me.

There are moments of incandescence which I can not explain

There are moments of incandescence which I can not explain. Part of it is the byproduct of a great effort and steadfastness. Still, when I am faced with overwhelming odds, when all seems lost, the depths of my soul calls out for truth, and it is there.

Life, is full of so many unexpected surprises

Life, is full of so many unexpected surprises, they come and go, you are let down hard, it seems as if you will never feel that certain something again, you meet and find what you need and desire and the possibilities of the healing of your pain and the expansion of your more mature longings are there, but now you are so cool with it, you prefer it, not cling to it, in fact you do not trust it, you do not go with it, you keep to your self as you have some fun but you wait, and know you will wait very long, for the pain and trauma had taught you well. And that is enough, which is enough. If this makes no sense, i understand but some day you will come around and see.

Let it speak to you

Each moment is God, that is all eternity, believe in it and yourself and let it speak to you. You have the liberating insight and power to free many.

When you feel what you really feel

When you feel what you really feel; when you allow your self to be guided by your feelings, instead of pretending and saying to yourself that you should not feel such and such a of way, you oriented your self to your truth, that is you have a more real,a deeper and more solid sense of your self. You are true to your real self as well as your needs as you walk on the solid ground of your life, not a fake life or someone else’s life. Copyright © 2015 Anthony Cavuoti All Rights Reserved

people with dyslexia are not imprison by the limits imposed

The laws of nature are different and more subtle and complete than the laws of language. People with dyslexia are not imprison by the limits imposed my the rules and laws of language. They have reality with them, which is magic. Copyright © 2015 Anthony Cavuoti All Rights Reserved

Clarity of being

Life and death, clarity of being, in the eternal cycle of seen and unseen, day and night and all of the degrees of light in-between, Copyright © 2015 Anthony Cavuoti All Rights Reserved

Deeply found even when you hide.

Put yourself in a position where you are not fragmented, where your soul, where your wondrous depths will come through. If you hide from your self in her, and in her sweet desires make certain that it is satisfying and worth the high price you will paid. In fact make certain that she and you are one, that she is more of you than you. From here you are more deeply found even when you hide. Copyright © 2015 Anthony Cavuoti All Rights Reserved

To our self more and more each time.

Each life awakens us more and more, deeper and deeper, to our self more and more each time. We might not see it now, feel it now, understand it now, get the full meaning of it, appreciate it, understand its influences, most likely not, or only very minimally. But each life no matter what contributes to us, our individual evolution and the collective evolution. Each life is like a leaf, and each life is a new leaf on the new tree, a tree in a different country or in a different continent or time or another time or in another world, or on the exact same tree, in the exact same location. The organic leaf it self lives and dies each time, but the essence of it, it’s uniqueness belongs to an ecological system of subtle forces that are part of the changing foundation of time space, and the seen and unseen forces with their many intermittent vaporous manifestations. Copyright © 1993 Anthony Cavuoti All Rights Reserved

My unclear subjective emerging I of me

My unclear subjective emerging I of me is not looking for resolution, meaning, nirvana, heaven, paradise, or non existence, it is simply striving for fulfillment, expression, to fully experience the maximum intensity and radiance of its aliveness, each life is simply increasing the wave of my passions, of my emotions, of the tides of my rising being in which it reached the pinnacle of which I am right now. But this wave has become conscious of itself, and I was born trying to escape it, out run it, but by chance I am body surfing on it, trying not to be thrown off of it as I ride it, to where, I do not know. I sense it, I intuit it, I trust it, even in the storms, most of the time, enough of the time. It is not great acts of heroism, great works of achievement, security, victory and recognition, that resonate most real in us, that give us the most sustaining joy, it is those real moments, tenderness, expression , our truth, love, and even resistance of the powers, of the pleasures, of the standards. of the securities, of the overwhelming traditions of lies that the vast majority of take to be real, such give a little to parts of your ego, take greatly from your soul, and/or dignity. Copyright © 2015 Anthony Cavuoti All Rights Reserved

What your really feel deep and sense down inside of you, is more real

Did you ever notice that what your really feel deep and sense down inside of you, is more real, is more powerful than your history, tendencies, ways and limitations, and when you fully aligned yourself with this and fully commit to your truth, the God within you, and the active God which this universe is part of manifests unseen power and beauty of you that you always into your life.

If you had a difficult birth, a difficult childhood, a turbulent adolescents.

If you had a difficult birth, a difficult childhood, a turbulent adolescents, a hard time during youth, if you had any of these all or of these, chances are you Journeyed from some far places, with a transformative message, an important message, and something is blocking you here, Your message is something that is necessary and vital And it upsets and threatens the established order. Copyright © 2015 Anthony Cavuoti All Rights Reserved

You are more much more and greater than any diagnosis

If you had a difficult childhood, chances are that you have a transformative message, that threatens the established order. You are more much more and greater than any diagnosis, that is just a Fashion trend that really promotes as it conceals political and financial investments. Copyright © 2015 Anthony Cavuoti All Rights Reserved

You do not have to review your life through the twisted and distorted lens of those that do not understand or get you

You do not have to review your life through the twisted and distorted lens of those that do not understand or get you, those that are unable or unwilling to get you or all the above. Someone from the Inquisition the Spanish Inquisition will never be able to understand an astrologers of today discover new plants and demention of the universe. Go on with your enlightenment and fulfillment and leave them behind. Copyright © 2015 Anthony Cavuoti All Rights Reserved Like · Comment · Share

The range of experience that we have are unique to us

The range of experience that we have are unique to us and far beyond the convention understanding of the structure of reality and conventionality as well as our understanding of mind, society, culture and the ordinary flow of things as well as time. Cultivate your special powers, attributes and abilities. Do not let others limited, conventional views of you and the world limit your will and confidence in making what what is reality to you. For that uniqueness which is you with its powers of expantion and synthesize dimensions is more powerful than all of the galaxies and it belongs to creation, though it comes through you, and only your uniqueness can fulfill as well as express it. Those that are conventional and adhered to the rules of some set status quo are trapped in the prison of so call normality. Be free and stay free! Copyright © 2015 Anthony Cavuoti All Rights Reserved

Lost for ever

To be addicted to false pleasure is a way to be lost for ever. Be with those that cherish your treasure. Not those refusing to face their false measure. Copyright © 2015 Anthony Cavuoti All Rights Reserved

Committed to the truth

The degree for which you are committed to the truth (of your childhood) is the degree for which the virtuous cycle will without do the negative cycle in your relationships and in your life. The commitment to really know your truth, over and over again, no matter what will guide you away from people using you for their twisted desires, for their need to keep you small so as to hide from their self betrayal and (the commitment to really know your truth will guide you) towards those that genuinely care for you and want to share their self fulfillment with you. Copyright © 2015 Anthony Cavuoti All Rights Reserved

Deceptive slogans

One of the most popular and deceptive slogans going around to day is, do you want to be right or do you want to be happy. It should say, do you want to know the truth, ( for that is the only way to real and lasting happiness) or do you want to remain deceived and continue pretending, so as to avoid your truth and any chance for real happiness and fulfillment. Copyright © 2014 Anthony Cavuoti All Rights Reserved

Life will show you the way

The door will open, not based on your personality, achievements, efforts, not based on any conventional measurement of intelligence, talent or so called adjustment, but based on your essence, how much of it you desire to experience. Beware, your inborn greatness is too often not received my your family, or the world and if it is too often the world is indifferent , and antagonistically hostel world that too often moves towards destroying more then embracing what is great. For most fear the real, their real self, and what awakens them to be what they truly are, they fear what releases them from the prison of their false self and the deceptions that it surrounds it self in. Leave the fools, go forwards into your joy anyways. Life will show you the way.

The risk of not being one self is too great

The risk of not being one self is too great. One must be what one is no matter the cost, no matter what the risk. The false layers fall away, let them fall, let your self be. When you had enough of the unsatisfying ways of adopting and just be, you know it, they ways will come, invisible, but never failing like the air in your lungs. Copyright © 2015 Anthony Cavuoti All Rights Reserved

Though we are plagued with faults

Though we are plagued with faults, emotional surges that derail us at times, we still find our center enough to change what we do not want in ways that bring us closer to those that we need in our life and distance our self from those that we unknowingly use to hide from our real self, with its many splendorous powers and desires.

The parents that realy did not want their children

The parents that realy did not want their children, but can not and will not admit this to them selves are responsible for the murder of their children souls, for they do not care about the child’s future self and the damage they do to them that will last them for the rest of their life. They are responsible for their own willful ignorance and indifference. Such slowly destroy their children every time they use, or mis use an so called legitimate excuses to release their pent-up frustrate and hostility towards the innocent child. As an adult they will internalize this insidious hostility and abuse and destroy themselves. Everyone will say what wonderful parents they had and what horrible human beings they are. We are responsible for challenging the ignorance we inherited from our family, from our culture, from our race from our time.

HOW I SEE THE WORLD TIMES

In some of my writings, I am speaking to the human potential, not as what we are instead what we potentially are, what is latent in us. I am not speaking to our envious nature. At other times I look life directly in the eyes and see us as we are, behind the pretense, the charades and the masks. This is the latter. I've noticed that when I go out with a black lady, say to the movie theater, some of the looks I get from some middle class couples, is just unbelievable. The contempt they cannot conceal is pathetic. But when I get these looks when I'm with my children I really have a low opinion of some of human nature. The pre-judgement which I receive from them is worse than a pre-judgement blind ignorance I received when I was a dyslexic child in narrow minded grammar school in the 60s and 70s with and bitter, ridge and narrowminded teachers. Of course, most of the time I ignore the ignorant bastards as I enjoy my time with my love ones. But I see, it I feel it. Like a stench,I cannot not notice it. I really appreciate the few, the very few that have a higher estimate of human nature and authentically live it.

WHERE IS YOUR ALLEGIANCE?

WHERE IS YOUR ALLEGIANCE? MOST PEOPLE NEVER QUESTION THE HYPOCRISY OF THEIR UPBRINGING. They think that they are adults but they’re only playing the roles assigned to them, roles they took to get their parents approval, and societies approval, roles they simply had to take out of fear, when they were small and vulnerable. But we know that our upbringing in our society has many blind spots where cruelty, indifference hides, very many, Just look at our indifference towards children, most parents still unquestionably believe yelling at their children is alright even into adulthood, then hitting the children is alright, that shaming their children is alright. It is not alright! Most Parents still think, “as long as I give my children food and shelter it is alright for me to make my demands on them, at the expense of their own personality ” to ignore, who they really are, and cut out the sides of the child’s personality that they do not find accepting. Most parents expect their children adult children to conform to their warped expectations. This form of perpetration is why others perpetrator abuses and indifference towards others, most of the time socially sanctioned other times not. You cannot buy enough of anything, you cannot consume enough of anything and you cannot be enough of anything to fill the void of childhood abuses and neglect we all suffered. By facing this suffering and feeling it, and refusing to perpetrate it on the vulnerable and the week and refusing to glorify it in the name of a proper upbringing, racial superiority or irrigants, we are taking the steps to enf this plague upon ourselves and the next-generation. Copyright © 2014 Anthony Cavuoti All Rights Reserved

We are all here to reveal this human potential

We are all here to reveal this human potential to one another in our own unique way, through others and our own very frustrating limitations and destructive false perceptions. What children need is enough space to find their own way. With real love, caring, wisdom of the parents constant reflective life as the port to come and go, they will discover the known an unknown of life, of them selves with all of its unique gifts and powers. Anthony Cavuoti. All Rights Reserved 20011

Little miracles,

Little miracles, big miracles are so very common, they really are. Life could fill you with so much anxiety one moment, later that day you see it was clearing you to wisdom, now you love much wiser, deeper, you love so much more alive.

Our attachment patterns our the shells for which we extend out to others, that we we emerge from, most get marooned in them to some extent, still most find a way to have fulfilling lives.

Simply striving

My unclear subjective emerging I of me is not looking for resolution, meaning, nirvana, heaven, paradise, or non existence, it is simply striving for fulfillment, expression, to fully experience the maximum intensity and radiance of its aliveness, each life is simply increasing the wave of my passions, of my emotions, of the tides of my rising being in which it reached the pinnacle of which I am right now. But this wave has become conscious of itself, and I was born trying to escape it, out run it, but by chance I am body surfing on it, trying not to be thrown off of it as I ride it, to where, I do not know. I sense it, I intuit it, I trust it, even in the storms, most of the time, enough of the time. It is not great acts of heroism, great works of achievement, security, victory and recognition, that resonate most real in us, that give us the most sustaining joy, the most real feelings of aliveness, it is those real moments, tenderness, expression , our truth, love, and even resistance of the powers, of the pleasures, of the standards, of the securities, of the overwhelming traditions of lies that the vast majority take to be real, such give a little to some parts of your ego while stealthily taking greatly from your soul, and/or dignity. Perhaps this is true once you get to a certain age. It is true for me.