Fire breathing dragon

As a child I thought, father your pain is so much, when I grow up, I will turn into a fire breathing dragon and burn this world down, this world that caused you so much pain and suffering. I shall save you from your pain father, I shall be a messiah, I shall wrap your pain with meaning and give you a glorious legacy and climax into glory. As an adult, I was a terrible flying fire breathing dinosaur. I feel bad for burning down the cities like Godzilla, and all the other monsters. To me all the other monsters seemed so terrible, so misguided, so unsophisticated. So, I turn myself into a new biotech tree, I would like to say flower but I’m really a tree, that absorbs the poisons from the world. My trunk and branches are strong green life. I’m still growing, what I am turning into I do not know, I just know that this way is more intrinsically satisfying for me. I am chasing light, I am breathing life.

Stealing from Theodore Reik

Whenever we make important decisions, that is our life defining decisions, that ultimately determine our destiny and who and what we are, we have to trust our inner nature, we cannot do this consciously weighing the pros and cons of such monumental decisions. For the deeper decisions that determine what we will ultimately become we have to depend on forces deep within us to give us the answers and direction, that is our unconscious. Decades ago, I decided to become a psychotherapist, with all of its pros and cons. I have encountered many monumental roadblocks and obstacles as well as many moments of unparalleled joy and satisfaction. When people ask me are you sure you made the right decision? “Yes, very sure.” But what about this and what about that? “Whatever!!!” Are you sure, completely sure about what you’re doing and what you’re becoming? Is the iceberg going against strong headwinds certain that the ocean current is stronger? Do I ever doubt myself, yes often I think I must be insane, to have dyslexia as bad as I do, attempting such a profession, a profession that if done right compels one to face oneself, to look at ones contradictions and to resolve oneself? But my madness has many advantages, my unconscious pushed me against seemingly overwhelming headwinds, my inner nature of course knows me better than the world around me and what I believe myself to be.