One thing that I notice about my family, they just do not relate to one another in a supportive way. Life at times seems as if I am fighting one big curse, family curse. The curse that each family member keeps putting on each other; always in the subtext, I mean behind the relationships, I am thinking of my mother's side, everyone is stealthily at war with one another trying to make it seem as if it does not exist, it being an iceberg of hostility beneath the service, like the mafia. It goes on, hate is too strong of a word for it, bad will is closer, contempt hits another aspect, intolerant, over involved gets it some, all of this goes on underneath the too often volatile surface like lava, and like molten it services in a fury from time to time.
I wondered why they kept putting them selves through that, they might have been there for one another on the most superficial levels, but underneath the laughter, great food, stories, ultra-cleanliness there was much tunneling under the others souls. Burrowing into, hollowing each other souls without to much love, of any genuine support. But something was there. Still love in the very deep depths of the heart comes out through the stormy weather, an invisible force, like evaporation. I needed a hopeful ending, part of me knows that I will find a way, things are as they are, I can only change myself, how I relate.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Monday, March 26, 2012
New world
We are creation. There is no doubt that we are creation. Even more than creation, we are creation making creation even more real, in our own unique way. We are time and space, being and becoming. I am not certain as how to say this but we are, we are, we always were, we always will be. This life is only the beginning of the endlessness that we are.
To create, to bring the new world about, to embody it, to summons it, we must be it in everything we do. What is this new world, this new life, it is every one being sincere on every level and every one treating every one as if they are the greatest person ever, which we all are. This is the new world that we will now give to every one, we have to be it, we really have to be it, always, no faking, no hiding, no part of the way, be it, all out with everyone, even with those that are against this new world, just as the old cells of the chrysalis are against the new cells of the transformation to wings, that is why we must be it for those who will destroy it, misuse it, bend it for their own warped ends, for they will steal from us, use it on someone who will use it on their children. For the child this is the only human inter face their stunted parents relate to them through.
Some of the bad use it for bad, most use it for good, even when the bad use it for bad on their children, their children sense something behind it, a good in their world of misery beyond their parents; they sense that this did not originate from their mean parents and look for the origin of this liberating force that validates what they sense, and it becomes real for them, not another illusion that their abusive parents can knock or yell away in anger or buy away in lack of real effort.
To create, to bring the new world about, to embody it, to summons it, we must be it in everything we do. What is this new world, this new life, it is every one being sincere on every level and every one treating every one as if they are the greatest person ever, which we all are. This is the new world that we will now give to every one, we have to be it, we really have to be it, always, no faking, no hiding, no part of the way, be it, all out with everyone, even with those that are against this new world, just as the old cells of the chrysalis are against the new cells of the transformation to wings, that is why we must be it for those who will destroy it, misuse it, bend it for their own warped ends, for they will steal from us, use it on someone who will use it on their children. For the child this is the only human inter face their stunted parents relate to them through.
Some of the bad use it for bad, most use it for good, even when the bad use it for bad on their children, their children sense something behind it, a good in their world of misery beyond their parents; they sense that this did not originate from their mean parents and look for the origin of this liberating force that validates what they sense, and it becomes real for them, not another illusion that their abusive parents can knock or yell away in anger or buy away in lack of real effort.
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