It does not have to be this way.

Every culture tries to control, manipulate, shame, dominate the other culture, the dominate cultures today where the so called inferior cultures of the past, the so called inferiors to day where the dominate cultures of the past in many or most cases, in their region or in their portion of their continent.  This is what individuals do to one another.  This is how we are habituated on many levels, but it does not have to be this way.  Believe in your self, face this tendency of humanity that we need to grow out of, defend your self from this, rise without putting others down.  Weed out dysfunctional patterns of relating, of being that you picked up  from your family. 

You have to see

You have to see the evil or maladaptive manipulative ways, or adoptive manipulative ways of others that use people as things, then you can protect your self and relate to them as well as God in a ways that do not poison you to their level. You can really do good when you see the evil in others, even if they do not see it in them selves, do not play their game; if you do, on the deepest levels they will despise you for being dump enough not to see through their games. If you play their game to get more game, you are, or will be just as lost as they in time.

Mot most

For some parents, not most, their is something deeply wrong with them, the only way to help them is for their adult children to get away, get away from them on as many levels as possible for very long time, for good is understandable. 

Lightening is quicker

As a therapist, this is what I see at times.  

Lightening is quicker than thunder, for many their weaknesses are exposed first, latent powers in them manifest afterwards in unconventional ways.   GOD help them if they are adopted with a narcissistic, self-adsorbed father with compulsion issues, denial, anger, rigidity.   Also God really be their for them with their borderline mother who can’t help but freely expose all of their children’s weaknesses publicly while being blind to their strengths, abusing them for not living up to the conventional culturally marketed definition of greatness that the queen demands.  

Beauty of Darkness

Beauty of Darkness 

Darkness is infinity, eternity, the source of all.   It gives birth to all life, to all forms, holds all, sustains all, we fear the primacy, as we feared the oceans, as we fear what is beyond the known, the more we grow, the more we see the more we will appreciate.

One dimension

One dimension of my book is we go from unconscious thoughts of God to conscious thoughts of God.  We go from an isolated unintentional drive to blindly connect with other thoughts of God in order to feed our hunger for power and bliss, we go from this too connecting to others intentionally, out of love, recognition, compassion, harmony, so that all might be more able to fully embody, express the one that is thinking us; in doing the latter we are simultaneously keeping our unique identity while becoming closer to and more like God, embodying God more, creation more, being more true to our origin, God, the source of all that is thinking us. 

rather be no more

People that experienced emotional mis-attunement as an infant, as children, rather be no more then be reborn into another existence where they could experience the same suffering again.  Such are the ones that believe in no God, no meaning to creation, and no existence past this life. But what they do with that pain will determine their next world, the ecology of their next carnation, did they inflict their pain on others, Hitler.  Or did they use their pain, their deep suffering to make the world more of a paradise on earth, a freer realm, a more just, more humane place, where one can experience, express a fuller range of being, a more creative life of depth, of harmony; so many more did this, we just never read about them, hear about them. 

Denial of the denial

An author I know wrote. R.M. 

With my family, they despise others, each other, mostly superficial love, much, much contempt, little love, expressed mostly indirectly through things, cleaning, food, buying things, many great things that can never make up for, or take the place of the lack of direct love, not being able to express it, at times uncertain if it is there.

 On deeper levels, much contempt, much contempt covered up with denial.  Denial of the denial. 

Not seeing it, the contempt they have for you, they have more contempt for you, abuse you more emotionally and have you feel it is your own issue, that the very real hostility and negative feelings you are picking up from them are your own derange feelings, emotions, weakness and defect of mind, of self, of soul.  

If you sacrifice much of yourself to be a hero for them, they might love you, respect you.  No, if you do they will pretended be impressed, but ninety percent of their words, their real feelings will despise you, They will make fun of you, constantly, loudly expose the weakness, weaknesses that were made and greatly amplified in your efforts to save them, to gain their respect, to end the abuse, to be loved.  

By saving yourself you save them, be the one to put love over all other desires, traditions, impulses, abusive outdated ways of keeping distance from one another in relating.